My Mom…Working for Me

by Amy on May 9, 2010 · 3 comments

“H’lo?” (chomping ice cream sandwich).

“Amy, it’s your mom.  It’s Saturday night.  Are you going out?”

I look down at my pajamas and up at the clock: 6:30 p.m.  “Um, no, just eating dinner.  I have important work to do tonight.”  Betty White is on Saturday Night Live — like I can miss that.

 “Have you finally met that guy who’s been emailing you on Facebook?  He’s so handsome.  He’d make cute grandbabies.”

“Um, no, I’ve been too busy…with clients.”  I slip my People magazine under a couch pillow guiltily like she can see it over the phone.

“Amy, all you need to do is email him and ask him to meet you for lunch.”

“We’re just Facebook-flirting.  Meeting in person would be too…real.  Anyway, maybe next week” when I get up the guts.

“Okay, but you need to come home right away.”

I sit up straighter, knocking the bowl of Trader Joe’s cocoa-covered almonds off my lap.  “Why?  Is something wrong?”

“No.  I met a man for you today.”

An image of a 75-year-old widowed farmer with a comb-over and no one with whom to share his healthy inheritance comes to mind.

“You know that little green and white house I’ve been eyeing?  He bought it.  And did I mention he’s from London?”

“London, North Dakota?”

“No, London, England.”

Eh?  “London, you say?  Like in Bridget Jones?”  An image of Mark Darcy played by Colin Firth comes to mind.  I rescue one of the almonds from the floor and pop it into my mouth because I suddenly need a cocoa fix.

“Yes.  He’s about your age.  Dark hair, the cutest, whitest smile.  Very handsome.”

“But…” and this needs to be asked because this falls into the Too Good to Be True category… “is he single?”

“Oh, I asked him if he has a wife and kids.”  One of those rare occasions I’m not annoyed my mother is the nosy type.  “He said no, that he’s here all by himself.  And that he’s…looking.”

He’s…looking? 

“Yes, he’s looking.  So like I said, you need to come home immediately.  And, while you’re at it, put down that People and put on a pretty dress and go call that handsome Facebook man.”

Always working for me.  One of the many reasons I love my mother.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Marge Everhart May 10, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Amy, thank you. I can’t believe this is word-for-word conversation. Did I mention Missy is also thinking of coming home to check him out?? Guess I need to make a trip out there to confirm what I said to you is all true. Repeat! He would make dandy little ones. I love you.

Amy May 11, 2010 at 5:36 pm

WHATTT???? Save him for me!

Marcie May 13, 2010 at 11:06 am

Wow! Sounds promising. And if he’s got the typical terrible British teeth, close your eyes and imagine Pierce Brosnan, Jude Law, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Ryan Patterson (too young, but hey..what-eva, it’s your fantasy) or any other HOT Englishman!

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