When Dating an Older Man Isn’t So Wise

by valerieb on July 15, 2010 · 0 comments

From Portland Correspondent Valerie…

Most women can agree that finding an older man is good idea.  Older men are generally more mature, they treat women better, and let’s face it: they’re more likely to have a job.  That’s why my particular situation this past weekend was especially frustrating…

Remember that guy who wasn’t calling, wasn’t texting, and perhaps wasn’t into me? Well, he called.  He invited me over, he made me dinner, and we had a great time hanging out together.  When he leaned in for the kiss, I (being the brutally honest girl that I am) asked him, “What is this? What is happening here?” We talked for a while, I essentially said, “Either we’re dating, or we’re not. There is no in between,” and he basically said, “I want to hang out with you, but I don’t want the boyfriend/girlfriend label.”

So, like an idiot, I let it slide. We hung out several times the following week; he even met my best friend and her husband. Things were going great, but we were not “official.”

Every year my sister organizes a Brew Tour around Portland. It’s a fabulous day of walking to several breweries, drinking excellent beer, and laughing with friends and family.  Although it was risky, since this guy isn’t my “boyfriend,” I invited him. 

A couple of beers, hundreds of introductions, and several dart games later, apparently my “friend” felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with him.  First of all, he’s six years older than me, so I expected him to handle situations in a mature manner. This, however, was not the case. With my sister, brother, father, several cousins, and best friends watching, he decided to say angrily, “We need to talk outside,” and proceeded to yell at me directly in front of the window, so everyone had a front row seat.

After making me cry, he finally left, and I rejoined my family and friends to enjoy the rest of my night. I called him the next day to inform him that I had never been so embarrassed and disgusted with someone’s immature behavior in my life. His reaction? “I’m really sorry, I know I messed up.  I’m hoping we can just move past this.”

I’m sorry, buddy. First you want to date, then you stop returning my calls and texts, then you want to “hang out” but don’t want the boyfriend/girlfriend label, and then you want to yell at me for not spending time with you while I’m with my family? This is way too much work for someone who isn’t even my boyfriend.

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