When You Least Expect It?

by Marcie on August 12, 2011 · 2 comments

Haven’t heard from Chicago Correspondent Marcie in a while…could it be because Marcie has found herself a…gasp…Good One? Read on, dear reader, and find out for yourself…

“When you least expect it…”

I’m sure when you hear this trite remark as a single person from your smug married friends about how they found love, it just makes you cringe, right? How many f’n clichés does it take, you wonder to yourself, before you “get” what they mean? Apparently, all of them. I used to think this stale saying meant “stop trying too hard” or “quit looking and it will find you,” and most recently I took to interpreting it as “just give up actively searching because he doesn’t exist.” I figured if I thought this way and I did meet a good guy, then I’d be shocked as sh*t when he did come along, and he’d change my ever increasing jadedness.

So, imagine my surprise when I decided to meet up with some friends to attend the Chicago Gay Pride Parade this year and show my support, only to meet…A GOOD GUY! How is it that a straight, single, not-looking-for-anyone gal meets up with a straight, single, not-looking-for-anyone guy…at a Gay Pride Parade???? Ahhh, the irony of it all.

I began to think…how did this happen and how weird is this? NOT so weird, my friends. Upon speaking with other friends, I found out that a good friend of mine recently met his lady-love at a gay bar where mutual friends had dragged them out to meet each other in a non-threatening environment. Is it the circumstance of being in a place where you would least expect to find someone who allows you to put your guard down and makes you more receptive to someone? I don’t know. What I do know is this: Neither one of us had any intention of going out to find that special someone when we left our apartments only to find ourselves deeply engaged in conversation for hours. My aforementioned friend who ended up meeting his current live-in girlfriend that night probably wasn’t thinking he was going to meet that special someone, either.

So next time someone says, “He’ll find you when you least expect it,” stop cringing for a moment and listen. Just when you’ve gotten to a point in your life when you realize you really don’t desperately “need” someone to come along and swoop you off your feet, he will.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Lisa August 12, 2011 at 9:01 pm

This article immediately caught my eye, not only because it’s such a common phrase, but because withing the last 24 hours I’ve had it said to me 4, yes that’s right, times. What these people don’t understand is that I stopped expecting it a long, long time ago. Expectation just sets you up for disappointment. I don’t expect anything. Along that line, I hear “You’ll find it when you’re not looking for it.” Now this could be a problem since it seems that I’m always looking for it. I don’t go out delibertly searching for that perfect someone, but after being single for 12 years and not having once single date during that time, how can I not help but look? I don’t need a man – having been single for 12 years I’d say I’ve proven that. I don’t expect a man. I’m not out actively searching for a man. But let me tell you, if I should happen to stumble across one I sure wouldn’t send him packing.

Marcie August 13, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Thanks Lisa, for sharing your experience. I relate & understand your frustration. After dating the plethora of schmos, morons & a$$h%^s I thought I had stopped looking for that special someone to share my life with, but what I didn’t understand was how actually getting to a place in life where there was other activities & experiences filling your every waking moment made me stop looking. I guess what I’m trying to convey is, forget about finding a relationship, fill your days with fun, challenging & exciting things to fulfill your interests & maybe it’ll happen to you too. What literally made me stop looking is a serious health dilemma within my family that’s taken an enormous amount of energy, emotional strength, fortitude & research efforts. I literally had NO time or energy left to expend upon “the search” for “the one” or anyone for that matter.
I wish all the best for you & I’m sure your friend’s only meant to help you lead a fulfilling life & not get too hung-up on your singleness. Embrace this time! Just think…you could be that harried Mommy & wife who envies YOUR life situation. The grass is NOT greener, my friend! It just isn’t.

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