My Journey to Single: Choosing the Road Less Traveled, or Just Dumb Luck?

by Amy on January 29, 2013 · 0 comments

Two roads diverged in a wood, and


I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost (March 26, 1874-January 29, 1963)

Point A: A polyester-pants-clad little girl in North Dakota embarking on her life’s journey.  Who will she become?  Oh, dear, so many forks in the road from which to choose…

First fork in the road: Slow down and let that sure thing catch her and kiss her in “boys chase the girls,” OR run faster and try to catch that cute kid who really floats her boat but who happens to be chasing another?  (Option B)

Second fork in the road: Spend high school cuddling with the same boy in the bleachers for four years, OR in a Reese Witherspoon-esque frenzy of extra-curricular activities from cheerleading to student government to science club?  (Option B)

Third fork in the road: Ask him to dance, OR let him walk away without ever letting him know she exists? (Option B)

Fourth fork in the road: Stick close to home and its familiar selection of comfortable hometown boys, OR go away to college and start all over with a new crop of potential Mr. Rights?  (Option B)

Fifth fork in the road: Stick close to home and its familiar selection of comfortable college boys, OR venture a thousand miles away after graduation and start all over with a new crop of potential Mr. Rights?  (Option B)

Sixth fork in the road: M.R.S. degree, OR J.D. degree?  (Option B)

Seventh fork in the road: When the not-quite-right but perfectly suitable guy presents himself time and again, settle, OR don’t? (Option B)

Eighth fork in the road: Kick ass in the bedroom, or kick ass in the courtroom? (Option B)

Ninth fork in the road: Another Saturday night…a little black dress and a good martini, OR pajamas and a good book?  (Option B)

Point B: Contented single career woman who occasionally admits to herself that she still wouldn’t mind coming upon him if he should darken her path.

Scholars say Robert Frost, who died 50 years ago today, didn’t mean for “The Road Not Taken” to symbolize that the less traveled road is necessarily the better choice.  Instead, neither fork is necessarily better than the other, and that “choice” is more likely a matter of impulse and is better not regretted or romanticized later as deliberate.  (How did I do, Mr. Moore?  Actually, I got that from Wikipedia.)

In plain English: No doubt my life choices have contributed to my current singlehood, and I’m proud of some of them while others may not have been the wiser or braver course. Had I chosen a different path at any one fork might I be smugly exalting my contented married life rather than my contented singlehood in this column (and would this column be called “I Got the Last Good One, Suckers”)? Also, let’s not give my decisions too much credit lest we forget serendipity’s role: maybe I just haven’t met him yet.

Anyway, I fully hope and expect to confront many more forks in my life’s road, and who knows where I’ll end up?  Que sera, sera.  Whatever will be, will be.  Maybe I’ll read some good books, or finally ask him to dance, or kick ass in the courtroom AND the bedroom. I just hope that, whatever choices I make, I enjoy my travels.

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